We Laid War
by Lady Jaye1
Summary: A parody of The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, narrated by Terry McGinnis. Krypto the Superdog makes a few enemies in the future.


_Disclaimer: I don't own JLU or anything from DC._

_Author's note: For all of you who have been waiting for me to update my other stories, don't worry. I finish my summer class in a week and then I go home. I'll finally be able to update then. This story, however irrelevant it might be, is a much needed break for what's left of my sanity. I fear that ten weeks of intensive Japanese has nearly destroyed my mind._

**We Laid War**

_A parody of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe told by Terry McGinnis's point of view. Krypto the Superdog makes a few enemies in the future._

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,  
Over many a huge and unfortunately large volume of Bruce's lore,  
While I nodded, successfully napping, suddenly there came a slamming,  
As of someone loudly slamming, slamming at my bedroom door.  
" It's only Matt," I muttered, "slamming at my bedroom door;  
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the Justice League Watchtower,  
That by fate and loud barking that my most vexing rival scratched upon my door.  
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow  
From my dreams of ways to make Rex suffer, suffer for his threat of war  
However, it was me in rage who had uttered, 'This means war."  
Nameless the half-Thanagarian shall be, here forevermore.

And the scritch and scratch of the Watchtower floor  
Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic fury never felt before;  
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,  
" It's only Matt and his Teen Titans friends, entreating entrance at my bedroom door,  
My stupid brother and his stupid friends, entreating entrance at my bedroom door.  
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating in ignorance then no longer,  
"You stupid dog," screamed I, "You CRAZY MUTT, Your death I do implore;  
Innocently, I was napping, and so loudly you came barking,  
And so loudly you came scratching, slamming at my bedroom door,  
Warhawk's death will have to wait." Here I opened wide the door;---  
Silence there, and nothing more.

Deep into the corridor glaring, long I stood there, raging, plotting  
Scheming, dreaming dreams the other Batman had never dared to dream before;  
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,  
And the only word there spoken was the thundered word,  
"This means war', This I screamed, and my echo thundered down the Watchtower hall,  
"This means war!" Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the bedroom turning, all my soul within me burning,  
Soon again I heard a yapping, considerably louder than before,  
"Bruce," complained I into my radiolink, "Surely, that mutt deserves to die.  
Let me see, then, what way shall it be, perhaps Kryptonite kibble I should find.  
Silent the mutt shall be, and finally have sleep in silence, Krypto-free it shall be.  
" Let it be," Bruce said, "Let it be and nothing more."

Here I let fly some curses, with a smirk, and many an evil glint  
Did the elderly Bat finally speak, speak to calm my shaking nerves.  
Not the least ruthlessness made he; not a drop of mercy stopped or stayed he;  
But the two Bats, planned did they, against the vexing problem outside the bedroom door.  
Barked, it did, increasingly loud, just outside my bedroom door.  
Barked, and sat, and nothing more.

Then that damned white dog, beguiling was he, continued barking,  
By the happy and dumb decorum of the countenance it wore,  
"Though thy master be the Man of Steel," I warned, "Your end is sure,  
Unholy, vexing dog, haunting the Watchtower from nightly sleep  
Tell me where you master is, tell him this means war."  
Quoth the Superdog, "Arff! (This means war!)"

Much I glowered at this unholy mutt as he took off speedily  
Know, did I, that he would return, returning it would forever more;  
Bruce and I cannot help agreeing that no sane sentient being  
Ever yet was blessed with encountering that dog outside their bedroom door,  
Even Shining Knight once threatened to impale his sword upon that beast  
Now barking once again outside my bedroom door.

But the Kryptonian dog, sitting lonely in the Watchtower corridor, barked only  
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.  
Nothing further then he uttered; but my blood pressure, it grew higher;  
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Surely other Leaguers will join me;  
Join me against this creature, this creature who barks endlessly outside my door."  
Quoth the Superdog, "Arff! (This means war!)"

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,  
"Doubtless," said I, "Clark Kent is soundly sleeping,  
Unaware of this creature's barking, who's disaster is swiftly creeping  
Unto whom even Bruce has sworn revenge, revenge for some past offense,---  
Till even he has joined me, with me against that furry whore  
Again I cry, "This means war!"

But the Krypto the dog kept barking, barking and his tail wagging  
Straight I flew out the door, my temper couldn't take it anymore  
Batarangs went from my hands a flying, missing the damnable dog  
Cursing turned into more cursing, until a red flash zipped next to I,  
"Let me guess," quoth the female Flash, daughter of a one Wallace West,   
"The Anti-Krypto Club, you have joined."

Thus the Flash and I engaged in plotting, with my visible rage expressing  
my outrage at the dog, whose beady eyes now peered around the hallway corner;  
A plan and more we stood divining, with Old Man Wayne curiously listening  
Suddenly the dog went a flying, flying down the hallway wild,  
Krypto the Superdog went a flying, flying from the danger coming  
Thus Wonder Woman also cried, "This means war!"

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen cancer  
A swift arrow flew down the corridor, it's point embedding in far wall hither,  
"Wretch," the Green Arrow cried, "thy Master you run to – whose help you will  
Not give thee respite---respite and assistance from our threats of war!  
Die, die you wretched villain, die before Diana lets loose her idea of war!  
Quoth the Superdog, "Arrf! (Nevermore!)"

"Stupid Mutt!" cried I, "You thing of evil!—a dog still, if Kryptonian or devil!  
Whether Clark sent, or whether Hell tossed thee here ,  
Death, we all agree, on this Watchtower night swiftly--  
Why are we cursed by your horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:  
Is there no way you can shut up?—tell me—tell me I implore!"  
Quoth the Superdog, "Arrf! (Nevermore!)"

"Stupid Mutt!" cried I, "You thing of evil!—a dog still, if Kryptonian or devil!  
By the earth that rotates below us--by that planet we both adore--  
We all shall silence thee, if Clark can't take it, then its war  
Diana's whip is ready to fly, the Flash is still screaming "War!"---  
Even Bruce and I, we both agree, your barking shall be no more.  
Quoth the Superdog, "Arrf! (This means war!)"

"Be that word our sign of parting, yee Hound of Hell!" Green Arrow shrieked, upstarting--  
"Get thee back to yee Master and a night's sleeping we implore!  
The archer's speech was left unheard, unheard it was by his comrades-in-arms  
By the Amazon's golden lasso, the Kryptonian hound was tied, with the Flash a running,  
Running with deadly scheme a foot—followed I in expressive glee  
Quoth Old Man Wayne, "I'm not involved."

And the morrow morning, with Clark's face a reddening, yes, a reddening  
For outside the entrance of his bedroom door, his bedroom door untouched  
The Kryptonian Hound of Hell sat a whimpering, his paws his head hiding.  
A barking collar fuelled by magic encircled his neck, his voice it kept from barking  
His fur had been dyed bright red, bright red to match the Flash's suit  
And beside him lay a card, a card saying, "We laid War."


End file.
